Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
