Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
pop tarts are not kleenex
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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