I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
