hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
