Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
NoShamevember. You game?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
