Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
