I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
