well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
