so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
