dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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