If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
