In America we eat man semen.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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