The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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