Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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