She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
