belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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