Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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