my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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