haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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