dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
