I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
