Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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