i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
