That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
