Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
