Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
