Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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