READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
