that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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