he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
