I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
