well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
