OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
