I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
