My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
