i always forget guys have bellybuttons
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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