and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
