im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
