She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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