covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
