I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
