Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
