i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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