is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
