I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
