Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize