kristin has been a bad kristin
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
