I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
