Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
