better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
