C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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